Zarel Emails/22
Zarel E-Mail #22 It's been two years since Zarel's last email, but he's back in action. Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Zarel, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Pom Pom, Marzipan, Homestar Runner (PBTC), Homeschool Winner Places: Strong Bad's Basement, The Cheat's Room, Strong Sad's Room, The Gazebo, The Field (PBTC) Transcript {Cut to a shot of what looks like a plane landing at an airport.} STRONG BAD: Wow, Zarel! {Zoom out to see that it was Zarel and Strong Bad playing a video game} STRONG BAD: I could never land that plane in Plane Lander V: The Redemption! ZAREL: It's not that hard once you get the hang of it. STRONG BAD: Woah, what happened to your voice? You sound a lot more...Greg Ellis-y. ZAREL: I guess it's one of the side effects from not having updated your email show in a while. STRONG BAD: I wonder if it'll happen to me, too. A voice like that is an irregular chick magnet! ZAREL: Speaking of...mind if I dabble in a little Compé action? STRONG BAD: I'm sorry, man, but we're unsure if the Compé still works after almost three years of not checking emails. That Twitter feed didn't reveal anything on its working status! ZAREL: ...There is just no fourth wall for you, is there? {Cut to The Cheat's room} ZAREL: Hey there, furball, I'mma need to use your computer. It's been two years and I need to get back on this gravy boat. THE CHEAT: {Annoyed Cheat noises} {The Cheat lets Zarel on the Monosodium Dreams} ZAREL: Alright! Time to hit the Intesive Email Unit! subj: Movies Mr. Lewis, Lets say a movie were to be made, with you in the leading role. What kind of movie would it be? Curious, Marissa {Zarel extends the "iss" in "Marissa"} ZAREL: {typing} Don't you remember my star role in Head Chopper II: The Movie? That movie was the cat's knees and the bee's pajama tops! Okay, that didn't really exist. But what does exist is this independent crossover film coming soon that I am so totally going to apply for! I just don't know what it is yet, but I'm doing it anyway! {Cut to Strong Sad's room, Zarel is sitting in a chair} ZAREL: Oh, come on! "city (comma) state 3: a slight nausea and a desire to vomit?" I'll tell you that I'm really feeling the subtitle here! STRONG SAD: But this is a film of feeling! It invokes and provokes the deep caverns of emotional turmoil inside the hearts of its viewers! ZAREL: I'm about to invoke and provoke my hand upside the deep caverns of dump in your face! {Video pause} ZAREL: So with that, I was banned from any films by Pom Sad Film Corporation, so I decided to go to the next big thing, musicals! MARZIPAN: {singing while playing Carol} Meat is murder... {Zarel is banging his head against a post on the Gazebo} {cut back to the Monosodium Dreams} ZAREL: {typing} And with that, my musical career was over. That's when I decided to take up my career as a voice actor for Japanese-style animations! Hah, I wish, I got stuck doing voices for that Cheat-brand mish-mash. {Cut to a Powered By The Cheat rendition of the Field} PBTC HOMESTAR: {kicks a can which flies everywhere} Oh man, I am so terribly bored. {Powered By The Cheat versions of The Cheat and Zarel motion tween in} PBTC HOMESTAR: Oh hello, Mello Yellos. PBTC ZAREL: There he is. Let's sprinkle these bugs on his face. {Zarel dumps a bucket of spiders on Homestar's face} PBTC HOMESTAR: Oh no, there are spiders on my face. PBTC ZAREL: High five, The Cheat. {cut back to the Monosodium Dreams} ZAREL: {typing} So that's my film career, Marissa. Now keep stealing that precious thing! {The Paper comes down} {zoom out to see Homeschool holding the wall fragment with the paper taped to it} HOMESCHOOL WINNER: How long do I have to keep this up? ZAREL: Until the viewer hits the back button...or some other link. HOMESCHOOL WINNER: "There is just no fourth wall for you, is there," he says. "Hold that printer up," he says. Fun Facts *Zarel refers back to jorbs when he mentions "Head Chopper II: The Movie." *The Marzipan scene is taken directly from music. *"city (comma) state" refers back to the sbemail: independent, and its subtitle: "a slight nausea and a desire to vomit" is taken from Lamb To The Slaughter by Roald Dahl. *"Keep stealing that precious thing" being said to Marissa is a reference to Touhou Project.